Double Blessings Realized

Let me share a little of my week with you.  I'm a member of the Multiples Club here in town.  We get the new mommies together with the babies once a month and have a Moms Night Out once a month (that I have yet to make it to) and we just had our big consignment sale last week.  That's the first time I've participated in a consignment sale (apart from helping my mom and sister) and it was such a great experience getting to work with those other MoMs (Mothers of Multiples).  I got to see just how many of us there are, and that's just the ladies who are active in the club.  I got to talk to a mother of triplet girls and that was so humbling and hope-giving at the same time.  She was so happy to share what a fun age they are (at 2) and cute things they do.  Also, as a memeber of the MoMs, we get emails about different mommies-to-be that are having complications in pregnancy and things like that.  There was a woman in a hospital in town who lives at least an hour and half away (along with husband and daughter) who was carrying quads.  She kept going into labor and they kept holding her off.  I had some girls in my bible study going with me to see her tomorrow and encourage her and take some little gifts.  She delivered one of them earlier this week (at 23 weeks), a baby girl, who only lived for a few hours.  They family was able to make it to hold the baby and enjoy her for the few precious hours she was alive.  Today she delivered the other three and none of them made it.  On a sadly similar note, I follow a blog of a woman who is a relative of a relative of a friend of mine... I don't know her at all.  (It's Suffering By Grace on the sidebar of my blog.)  She has been carrying a baby boy and they discovered early in her pregnancy that he had a lethal form of dwarfism.  They knew from that point foward that his ribcage would likely never grow large enough to support lungs that could function properly.  Her blog has been a great blessing to me.  She chronicled all the emotions she felt and all the peace and comfort God gave her throughout her pregnancy.  She viewed her pregnancy as the most precious time she would get to spend with her son.  He was born just two days ago late at night and lived until the next morning.  I cannot imagine the heartache these women are feeling today.  To carrying precious life within you and not get to see that life blossom into a long, full life... words fail me.  I cannot imagine living in this world without knowing God.  I am so thankful that I don't have to do that.  A girl who was in youth group at church with me growing up has delivered twins recently, too.  One baby was not growing well due to a faulty placenta.  They had to take both babies between 27 and 28 weeks to give both babies the best chance of survival.  They are now one month old and weigh in at 2 & 3 pounds.  They will be in the NICU for another long while, I'm afraid.  I don't think she and her husband have even been able to hold the smaller of the babies, yet.  My heart just aches for these mommies and daddies.

And I look back on my pregnancy... It was hard.  It wasn't horrible, I did enjoy a lot of it.  But it was uncomfortable and challenging.  Do you ever wish you could go back and take back the complaints you made?  I know, that's a "what if", an "if I'd known then what I know now" kind of thing that will only drain me of energy and joy.  All I can do is move forward.  I want to move forward knowing exactly how blessed I am.  I want to move forward embracing those two beautiful blessings that I had the privilege of carrying and bringing home with me.  I want to move forward cherishing every minute I have with my precious babies and remember how honored I should feel that they want to cling to me and be held by me.  I want to remember that they are blessed to be so big and strong that they can cling to me.  I want to remember that it if wasn't hard, everyone would do it.  I need to keep in mind that God has never and will not give me anything I can't handle with Him.  I feel like I have had a lot more patience with the boys in the last few weeks.  I feel that it's a mix of Andrew and I being more closely connected and communicating better and the fact that I've let go of a lot of stress.  I'm not letting it pile up on me anymore.  I realize there are things in my life that I cannot control and it's really better that I can't.  I would never be any good at handling the things God does, so I should really just let Him do it.  I'm letting God be in control and allowing him to calm my fears and anxieties about all kinds of things (babies, families, futures, etc.) that I usually worry about.  Worrying takes all the fun out of raising babies, I think.  It transfers to them and that makes all of us a mess.  I choose to simply enjoy my babies.  And I do so by focusing on the things that matter (them and Andrew are at the top of that list) and forgetting about everything else.  Do I wish we had cable?  sometimes.  Do I wish we had texting?  sometimes.  Do I wish we could eat Subway every night instead of making the crazy attempt a cooking while feeding babies?  yup.  But are we a happier and closer knit family for doing without those things?  I believe so.  We work together as a team because that's what it takes.  I almost feel bad for people who only have one baby at time (stick with me here) because having two at a time really makes both parents engage completely and work as a unit.  It has created new bonds and strengthened the existing ones.  I hope you all have that kind of partnership in your lives - with God, with family, etc.  It has brought me a peace that passing understanding like I've never known before.  That's the only way I've been able to deal with the sadness of these babies passing this week.  I just pray God's comfort and peace on those families.  If you pray, please pray for them, too.