To Be Busy at Home

We started going to a new church at the beginning of this summer and have since fallen in love with the family of believers there.  They have been so kind and helped involve us very readily.  One of the things I loved in the very first service we attended, the community minister (husband of a friend of mine) welcomed everyone with opening comments that included this: "We are a body of believers who just read the Bible and do what it says."  What more is there?  We are members now and are enjoying so much "doing life" with these people.  Our pastor, is teaching lessons by going through pastoral epistles (letters on how to organize churches) right now and he just finished up the book of Titus.  Titus was an especially challenging book for me, but I loved every lesson.  I want to share some of the thoughts of our pastor (and me) here.

The second chapter of Titus is instructions on teaching sound doctrine and how the believers should live their lives.  He gives instruction to the older men & women and then the younger men & women.  Of course, I was studying the instructions to the women particularly hard.  I've always struggled with the verses that teach wives to be submissive to their husbands.  I don't feel that I've ever had a lesson taught on those passages that did them justice (or I was not in a place in my life where I could accept God's word on the subject).  Let me say this: I know I won't do justice to the way Chris spoke on this, so here is the link to the podcast. 

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the younger women...." Titus 2:3-4
Reverent is heiroprepes, meaning being prepared for that which is sacred. Marriage is sacred, so the way older women carry themselves should be prepared for whatever that institution brings. When women are not reverent in behavior, they become slanderers and/or drunkards. Slanderer in greek is diabolos. Does that need explaining? Surely, you recognize that word. Sometimes when women get old and ornary (or 'crotchedy' where I come from - have you ever stopped to think where that word came from??), we excuse them because that's just what happens when you get old. That is not of God. And much wine only lowers inhibitions and makes loose-lips worse. And let's just say that wine could be any manner of drugs or alcohol that allows a person to feel more at-ease with themselves while running their mouth.


Ok, so submissive to my husband.  'Submissive' just always made me picture a woman with her head covered, on her knees.  That's not necessarily a bad picture, right?  Probably something I saw once on a flannel board in Sunday school (you remember flannel board Jesus, right?).  But I'm a very opinionated person and I very much like to be in control.  Maybe I'm bossy.  Maybe I'm just a natural leader (that's put nicely, isn't it?).  Whatever it is, it might have been the way I was born or it might have been the way I was raised, it doesn't really matter which.  I just never accepted that I was supposed to let the man lead the house.  Even though the Bible says it. 
But Paul writes to Titus that the older women should "train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5
Loving our husbands and children should look like 1 Corinthians 13.  The order of that verse is important - you cannot love your children if you do not love your husband.  The greek for self-controlled is sophron, meaning 'of sound mind,' 'sober.'  The greek for pure is hagios, meaning 'sacred,' 'blameless.'  When we talk about working at home or being busy at home, I know there are so many women who will have qualms with not sharing the workload at home.  This fallen world has recently come up with feminism.  I went to a liberal arts college - feminism everywhere.  I was absolutely affected by that.  Here is God's word on that: men and women are absolutely spiritually equal.  The kingdom of God belongs to all of His people.  But being in a right relationship with God has nothing to do with how much money you make or "fair" your job situation is.  We, as followers of Christ, are not to be women competing with men; there is to be order in our households.  I'm not sure where women went from desiring our husbands (and him ruling over us - Genesis 3:16), to trampling on his manhood.  I feel I've come a long way in my relationship with my husband in our short 4 years together, learning to understand how he works and how we can each show our love and support in totally different but equally valid ways.  (In short, we communicate differently and we work it out.)  But one of the biggest ways I've grown is in the way I try to treat him with gentleness because supporting the family and carrying the burden of being the sole financial supporter is a huge responsibility, which he takes very seriously.  It is usually tied very closely to how a man views himself and can be damaged very easily by a woman who doesn't show trust in his abilities.  (Note: this has changed a lot for us recently because of the growth in our relationships with God and how we find completeness and identity in Him.  But that is a whole 'nother post.)  I'll make this short and sweet: Women who don't support their men (in word and deed) make their men feel less significant.  So to bring this back to working at home... If you're working outside the home, it should not be because you think your hubby can't bring in enough to make you happy.  It should also not be because you feel more significant if you work outside the home.  Paul tells us that the primary responsibility of the woman is to be busy at home.  Not to finish all the laundry when you get home from work.  Don't misunderstand me: If you can do all you need to do at home (have an invovled relationship with husband and children, keep household in order, etc.) and still work out of your overflow energy, time, etc., kudos to you!  There are many passages in scripture that I won't go into that talk about being content with what we have, but the bottom line is that women are to tend to all things dealing with the household and let the husbands lead and support the family.  (Another note: this is not a free pass for men to get out of housework! They help us out of love, but we're content even if they don't.)  Submissive.  The greek for this is peitharcheo meaning persuaded by authority, conforming to advice.  One of the greatest reasons we, as wives, do not submit is because we're afraid our men won't do a good job.  We're afraid of being that vulnerable.  1 Peter 3:1-6 tells wives to submit to their husbands and the end of that passage tells wives not to be fearful, not to be afraid.  Paul doesn't tell us to be submissive if our husbands are good men or even if our husbands are Godly men.  We are to submit because it is the word of God that we follow.  First, we submit to God; second, we submit to our husbands.  As long as what our husbands ask of us doesn't contradict God's word, we follow.  If we don't think it's the best way, we pray about it.  But we submit to the leadership of our husband so that no one can revile or malign (blasphemeo) the word of God.  When the world looks at us, we need to look different.  We need to be models of God's word.  We submit to our husbands because Christ submitted Himself to God.  And especially, if the husband is not a believer, a submissive wife is a great testament to the love of Christ.

I really encourage you to listen to the podcast because it was a really well-taught lesson.  It has changed my heart and my marriage, so much for the better.
"Grace be with you all."